Emotional Rubber Bands…

Emotional Rubber Bands…

rubber bands, whiplash, herky jerky, it’s all the same when it comes to my family and it simply can’t continue like this. i have to choose not only my mental health over my family but also my physical health as well. two years without health care is a long time when it comes to reestablishing …

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barricading complete…

barricading complete…

the blinds are drawn and taped, latches latched, door locks checked and triple checked, i’ve even cut the cords on the blinds so that i can’t raise them unless…well, unless… facebook and instagram accounts have been deactivated, only twitter and this blog remain. it’s never been this bad before so i’m in uncharted territory here. …

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Goodbye Dad, again…

Goodbye Dad, again…

my father has been leaving voicemails for a few months now. we had a falling out last year when he called me at 4am my time making accusations that were not only hurtful but also incorrect. i’ve been blamed for everything when it comes to my father. i was never enough for him. me the …

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Winner Takes All…

Winner Takes All…

From one of my favorite stories of the Big Book of A.A. Winner takes all is about a young woman born legally blind but keenly aware she was the lesser wanted child of her siblings. This is the last chapter of the story and it was the one that gave me my Aha moment. Regardless …

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Enough…

Enough…

For anyone new to the site I’d like to offer some insight to my Twitter and #SurvivorCulture tweet. My site needs work so you’re probably seeing a happy post about getting back to my previous therapist. Which definitely is good news…especially given the current circumstances. My father and I tried to forge or repair some …

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Trying to keep positive…

Trying to keep positive…

these flare ups suck when then take me out of my routine. you know the drill. something triggers that familiar ‘un-happy’ gut feeling. not yet excruciating but you know it’s just a matter of time. today i was finally able to run errands after being in bed for the past 3 days. the familiar dull …

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It’s been awhile…

It’s been awhile…

just checking in and i want to be clear when it comes to my previous therapist you asked if you could follow along and i had said yes. at the time i didn’t see the harm, in hindsight it would leave me feeling too exposed. i’m not truly sure what made things change course so …

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