It’s been awhile…

It’s been awhile…

Fall has always been my kind of season. When I moved from L.A. in the 80’s I’d never experienced all four seasons before. That magical low humidity high clarity time of year, the lower angle of the sun and change is in the air. I had a roofer come over for an estimate the other …

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NYC…

NYC…

Solo urban travel suits my anxiety, even in a place like NYC. How could it not? The speed of life is hectic yet ordered and city rules of behavior apply. Make a great playlist grab the camera gear and you’re as anonymous as you want to be. I need more of this…  

Getting closer…

Getting closer…

#anxiety, #depression, #cptsd, #childhoodtrauma, #childhoodsexualabuse – these are the things i still carry as an adult. they don’t go away. they don’t magically disappear when those around us can’t bear us as we are, we have to fight allll the underlying symptoms and pretend things are normal when they’re anything but… i reached out to …

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Gettin’ pretty tired of being the bad guy…

Gettin’ pretty tired of being the bad guy…

another rough day including a crushing reminder why i’ve had more than one bout of ambivalence with AA. simply put. there are times for rote platitudes and there are times when it doesn’t advance or help the persons struggle. after 14 years, this last time, and numerous attempts for the greater part of 30 years. …

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Begin brain dump…

Begin brain dump…

5/29/19 4:46 pm – today was pretty rough. i’d been through the ringer trying to get medicare to answer a simple question and then i spun out of control from there. the following is a brain dump (i frequently fire up email and just type away as the thoughts flow freely and so as not …

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Managing Anxiety From PTSD is Possible…

Managing Anxiety From PTSD is Possible…

It’s been a rough couple of weeks when it comes to personal space. When I moved to Little Crab Cove I was so so grateful for the privacy and beauty that a wetland could provide. Great Blue Herons are frequent visitors. The Osprey’s are back and circling the pond in the mornings and early evenings. …

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La Mirada Ave, Hollywood CA ’77

La Mirada Ave, Hollywood CA ’77

who knows why i capitalize things or write the way i do. i’m not a professional and i failed 10th grade english. the transition from junior high school in 9th grade to high school at 10th grade was when my life began to fall apart… 13 – 15ish were the years living with my father …

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Another closed door…

Another closed door…

contacted my old therapist in Boston. got the same reply i’ve been getting for months from All healthcare professionals. “Oh I don’t know anything about Medicare, that’s not my thing.” Really? Than why and how is it you’re a Medicare “P R O V I D E R” yet you know nada??? Yeah…okay. all i …

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I’ve been coming to this decision for quite some time…

I’ve been coming to this decision for quite some time…

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that my health is what will ultimately decide my timeline. By that I mean given the lack of support to get to and from appointments mean I don’t have any other choice. My health will get worse. I’ll eventually become wheelchair bound or some other sort of mobility issue …

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